keep it for myself

these feelings i keep it for my self
let others know nothing
well maybe they know the stories but they don't have to know more
it's so hard to tell it because i also don't know how to say it
after a year and 6 months, i feel this kind of feelings again .
this kind of feelings are special to me because i often feel it
the pain and the happiness
the sweet and the bitter taste
even i know that i'm not the one
even i know that he still in his past memories
even i know it's impossible
i enjoy it
i enjoy to waiting for nothing just because of you .
it's weird i know
Logic doesn't work in this case
either mathematic calculation
it's just about 'feelings'

the other side

i just want to make sure that i was wrong
i never see you from the other side
i just see u from one side
now i even dont know where to start

how to begin everything

how to be a positive thinker

how to apologize

how to be good friend

how to help u when u need something

how to make sure that i will change

how to ask u to go hang out

how to understand u

how to start over

how to be at ur side

how to learn to see from the other side

i just want to back to my daily life .
i want to feel happy again
i just want to apologize
maybe someday will meet again
until that day
i will try to see from the other side :)

ohh YEAH !!

"I am sixteen goin on seventeen .."

hahahaa
lagu nya Sound of the Music yang itu lagi demen banget g denger .
alesan nya simple .
gara gara uda mau ulang tahun . :DD

bentar lagi g mau tujuh belas tahun ..
*sigh*
feelin great or feelin older ?
awkawkawk
no party for my birthday .
because i dont really like 'party'
i even dont know why .
maybe it just dont suite for me .
just hang out with my friend and treat them .
just simple like that already make me happy :)
will see later ..
hehehee

ALOHAA

it's been a long time since my last blog .
hahaha
so my day just start asa usual .
so there are nothing special . :)

Soo .
last time i play my game .
i met this girl again .
and there is a conflict between me and her .
i think this is not the first time that i have a conflict with her .
hmmm ..
i guess because we're so different in the way opf thingking .

but heyy .
someone teach me to not hate each other .
so i try to not hate her .
while my friend said that i still look close to her .
but deep inside my heart i feel so terrible .
but i keep try and try .
until finally
i make my decision to not hate her .
it just waste my time .
i'll ignore everything .
and keep trying to think positive .
beside .
she's my friend .
hahahaa

well ..
i keep try to write this blog .
*Uif i can and i want to* (haha)

Tugas mengalir

aaarrrghhh !!
tugas mengalir terus tiap harii ..
kalo ga ulangan , tugas datang lagi .
huuaaaahhh ..
inilah yang namanya jadi murid
hahaha
apa daya .
emang uda tuntutan
kalo ga mau iah ga usa sekolah .
jadi iah harus terima aja
mengalirnya tugas tugas dan ulangan udah kayak makanan tiap hari di sekolah
uda biaasaaa :DD

preparation for DH cup !

untuk menyambut ultah sekolah yang ke-5
maka dari itu di buat rangkaian acara seperti basketball competition .
semua dilakukan persiapan yang sangat ribet
(karena baru kali ini ngerasain gmana ngurusin ginian)
semua harus bertanggung jawab atas bagiannya masing masing .
rapat demi rapat udah di lalui .
dari pagi sampai sore .
tanggal 15 feb 2010 . pertandingan pertama akan dilaksanakan
(which mean tommorow)
sebagai koordinator timer ,
peranan nya ga segamapang itu .
cuma megang stopwatch , matiin nyalain
emang klo di deskripsikan cuma gitu aja
padahal engga
beban jadi timer itu berat juga
sekali salah ,
semua akan hancur berantakan .
walau dalam hati panik ,
musti nya ga boleh .
harus relax ,
percaya kalau semua akan bae bae aja .
sekali mikir ini bakal kenapa kenapa ,
mungkin itu nantinya bener bener akan kejadian .
jadii .
semoga selama seminggu kedepan ,
DH cup ga akan ada masalah . :)
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT !!

it's hard to believe ..

HAH !
ternyata buat coklat itu ga segampang yang dikira .
apalagi buat coklat yang banyak banget jumlah nya .
huahhahahaa
baru aja belajar caranya buat coklat .
asik sih asik .
tapi karena dikejer waktu .
kita semua harus bersikap profesional .
harus selese
harus enak
harus teratur .
walau dibalik semua itu kita ga tegan etgang banget si
ada beberapa selingan kejadian yang menarik
apa lagi buat coklat nya bareng bareng
itu bener bener yang bikin kita semua ga tralu depresi .
karena kita buat na juga ketabrak hari xincia .
ini dia yang jadi masalah .
tapi untung nya ,
rumah g ga dipake buat apa apa .
jadi bisa dipake .
pas xincia nya itu hari minggu
mustinya g ke gereja tapi karena ortu lagi pergi
trus supir lagi ada maslaah kluarga ,
akhirnya bakal di lanjut lagi di rumah g . :)
dari membuat coklat ini g blajar banyak hal .
harus lebih teliti
harus sabar
harus cekatan
yang terpenting ,
jangan pernah anggep remeh suatu kerjaan karena kita blom tau seberapa susah ato seberapa gampang tugas itu .
semua harus dikerjakan dengan sepenuh hati .

because it is great to learn how we serve others with all our heart before someone serve us . :D

love u mom & dad

heyy .
even ur not here .
but i just want to say thank you for the present .
me and sister are really love those presents that you give to us .
we're sorry if we can't give you anything .
hehehe
soo ..
we just wanna say thank you and happy valentine !
<3 <3 <3 <3

a lot of thanks for FAMOUS AMOUS !!
you know what i like .
hahahahahahahahahahahahaa

hope you understand

i dont mean anything for this .
for sure .
i just want you to understand .
yeaahh ~

if i have to confess ,
i'll do my best to say the truth
but if i have to lie .
ohh ~ no more lies ..

so !
this is what ive thingking about
its always about you
why you disappear from me and now you have come back to me
I dont understand all of those things .
so please i beg to you .
please understand me ..
i just want you to understand ..

i see the sky i hope i can understand you too ..
for sure .
i want it so much ..

but
i think i can't .
im too weak for this soo ..
please be true
yeah !!

So !
i want to end this conffession and just tell the truth
if i now nothing, i am not your friend
please tell me something
just one word it's enough for me
i hope you can understand yeaah ~
hope you understand ~

delivery for you - student council

it's already near to velentine's day .
as a student council we have to to our best for this event .
it is true that we're only make chocolatte and sell it .
after that we delivere it to someone they want ot give to .
even so we have to give the best ! :)
valentine is dedicate to some feelings of love .
to your girl/boyfriend
to your friends
to your teacher
to your parents
to your brothers and sisters
to anyone you love .

we as student council
we deliver your prensents to someone at school as ur wish .
we hope all of you satisfied .
:D
please feel free to all of us and trust us that we won't tell any of your secret .
enjoy your day everyone ~ :)

me & marcell motto

it's like an accident motto .
we make it when we were studying .

so this is our motto

"because we are mature we dont use our fingers to point someone
but we use our eye contact to point someone"

it's just that simple :)

script writter :D

heyy heyy
it is so much fun .
our class were divided into 2 groups .
each of them consist of 9 people .
we're gonna play drama on 22th febraury .
and im so happy that my friends trusted me to write the script :D
@@ ~
the story has just begin !!
they give me the idea and i'm going to write it as a script
so
they can practice very well
i have to finish it as soon as possible .
hahaha

the story is about a girl who having a relationship with a great gitarist and drummer at those school.
the school was called by Manhattan International High School .
But one day , the boy had an accident that make him couldnt play gitar and drum anymore .
So the girl leaved the boy .
their relationship was end .
this girl had a great father .
her father was a top mafia from Italy .
Until one day ,
this girl had a new boyfriend who can play gitar and drum also .
this new boyfriend called edo .
edo was a son of a great mafia who already died .
his father killed by Mr.J .
Mr.J was this Girl father .
so edo wanted to revenge .
he made this girl family suffers .
edo used this girl so Mr.J would listen all the things that edo said .
meanwhile at school
this girl had no friends anymore since a little accident .
the boy who used to become her boyfriend came closer to the dirl .
he opened her eye so she will understand everything .
this boy will help her family agaian .
until edo gone to italy ,
Mr.J family was save .
but they have to start from the beginning to became rich again .
after that this girl and boy were haven a relationship again .
repair all the broken things .

the end .. :)

those projects ..

heyy heyy .
take it easy man .
one by one , okeyy .
we havent finished one and the others come .
how should i finish all of them in one time ?
i feel i want to throw up when i see those projects .
no inspiration .
no idea .

ARGGGHH ~!

what a happy day ..
what a lovely day ..
what a horrible day ..
what a NIGHTMARE ..

great ..
i've already got a bad scores in some subjects .
if i make the same things over and over .
then ,
i am a totally idiotic person .
but how can i do all that stuffs ?
if i have to take the piositive sides ,
maybe it will help me when i'm in university .
the negative sides ?
oohh.
there are a lot ..
hahahaa

I can't take it anymoree ~~
HELP ME ~~

enjoy the show :)

so this is my first time come late to school in this new year .
rain was pour down .
traffic jam was a common thing happen in the morning esp. when it is raining .
me and my sister were in the car and sang a song .
we're still on the road at 7.30 .
this was the great thing ever happened in my life !
hahahahahahaa
i knew that i lied to myself .
i told my sister that this experience was great .
when will i came late again to school .
but ..
in the deepest of my heart ,
my heartbeating very fast .
i was afraid .
how could this thing happen .
how come i arrived at school at 8 o'clock .
but still ,
i could smile when i had arrive .
awesome is one word that can describe my feeling .
one hour late .
i had miss one session subject which is for 45minutes plus 15minutes for morning devotion .
i tought , "what a great day dude" :D
i felt so greatfull .
coz i still can catched up the materials that i've missed .

rain oh rain .
you wash away the dirt on the road ,
but the dirt will come again after you stop pouring .
you make the situation cold and chill ,
but after the sun arise , everything become warm and hot .
you make everything wet ,
but the sun make everything dry .
one thing that i know .
you have one thing that sun does .
whether it raining or not .
whether the temperature is hot .
both of you make this city full of car , traffic jam around us ,
and
both of you
make some people happy or dissapointed .
i dont have any right to judge which weather is better .
all weather have their own strengthness and weakness .
all the clothes wont dry if there is no sun
but if i can choose ,
i will choose rain better rather than sunny day .
if in here has winter season .
maybe i will choose winter .
hahahaa
a particle fell down from the sky is something great to see . :)

so ..
enjoy your day .
like you enjoy the show :D

tired ...

is that what you want ?
i'm sick of all those kind feelings !
dammit !!!!
why should i cry for nothing ?
those reasons ..
I HATE THOSE REASONS !!!
is that what you want ?
just tell me what you want straight away .
you don't have to make up all those stories to keep my feelings .
jeezz . .
i now nothing about you , i admit .
but i respect for who you are , and what i get ?
r u b b i s h .
JERK !
I HATE YOU !!!
all your words are full of lies !
LIES !!
you know what i mean ?
you better know what i mean .
if you dont need anymore ,
just tell to me right away .
why do you have to make a reasons to keep a distance from me ?
cih !
i wish i can hear your answer . .
it is useless .
all the things that i make .
waiting for you .
all of them ..
is meaningless ..
it's all because of you ..
i'm tired of this .
do what you want .
do whatever you wants !
as long as you happy ?
that is what you want right ?!
I'm going to remember this .
you broke all my plans .
all of them !!
i wish that you know how really hurt am i . .
i wish you recognize it .
...
...
...
...
please make this tears stop falling .
i won't cry for a person like you .
i won't ..
but why .
jezz
ARGH !!!
you make my day horrible !
we're finished !

the missin' bottle

holiday it's over
time for school ~
in holiday i never thingking about school.
hahaha ~
spending my time to refreshing .
until the time is come .
i have to wake up early .
use my uniform .
bring my bag to school .
and ..
the bottle drink !
i don;t know where my bottle drink is .
it's missing !
ohh nooo ~
i think my mom will angry to me .
until i arrive at my school .
i walk to my classroom .
in front of my classroom there is a locker .
so i open my locker and take some books .
and when i enter my classroom .
there it is !
the orange bottle drink .
hahahahaha ~
so my bottle drink stay in that classroom for 3 weeks !
how great is that .
ckck

who cares ?

hahahaa .
i think now i feel free .
i just dont know why but i glad for my own condition now .
this is it .
my new life has just begun !
It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GGGGOOOOOOOOOODDDDD !!
see . .
that's how life .
Life must go on coz the show will never stop just because of something .

nothing to care about u anymore .
farewell ~
hey hey .
dont be so sad dear .
soon we will meet again somewhere .
and i have change so do you .
:)

so until that time ,
take care of urself .
also u have friend (the same like you are)
i learn this new word .
hope u stop being a naive and hypocrite person . :)
see you soon ~

PS: until that time comes , i dont care with anything .

no need to say

no more words can describe my feelings.
no more words to explain to you .
nothing .
i dont have to say to you .
i'm too tired for this .
i dont know whta happen .
i dont know what have to do .
i dont know what have to say.
because i know that
no need to say anything .
I'm done .
I KNOW THAT I HAVE A BIG MISTAKE IN MY LIFE !
IT IS SO PATHETIC FOR SOMEONE WHO I CARE BUT THOSE PERSON DOESN'T REALIZE IT .
I'M TIRED TO BE A NICE PERSON .
I dont need any reasons from you .
I'm done with this thing .
I wont ruin your day .
ha ha ha .
thx

NO WAY !

AKH !
dammit !
those homeworks .
it just kill me slowly but sure !
*sigh*
what should i do
what should i do
what should i do
NO WAY !

the way i'm thingking

hahaha .
finally i play , chat , laugh , and share together agaian after day by day passed without this person .
i realize that this person haven't change .
the same person i know before i leave her .
everday i check her account ,
and i do find something that in my mind 'she dont need me anymore'
'she has friends already to talk to'
'is she still need me?'
'am i too sensitive?'
'am i too care about her'
i always afraid if there's something happen to her because she is always have a hard day to face .
i won't leave her because if i leave her it means i am just the same person as the others ho leave her .
i want to see her changes .
i want her to be strong .
and when i leave her .
i see .
that .
she can survive without me .
is this the end ?
is this the way to end all of the things .
or am i too over to take care of her ?
am i too care to her ?
am i too strict ?
am i too ..
i dont know anymore .
but today i'm with her again .
and still .
i dont know what to do .